I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who I am trying to reach with my why. The amazing thing about the Team-X journey is the desire to always dig deeper, the continuous probing and questioning, to reach a greater sense of self discovery. I truly hope it doesn’t end, because there is always room to grow and to learn.
The best way I can describe it, is through myself.
I want to push the status quo, to do what’s best for myself, but I still have that mommy guilt and fear of what others will think of me because I want to be happy. It was only until recently that I realized that “happy” means a feeling of self worth, and that’s it perfectly ok to want that.
Confession: I’m not someone who enjoys being pregnant. The end result far outweighs the journey for me in this case. Please do not crucify me because I don’t want to breast feed, because I choose to have an elective c-section, or find out the sex of the baby instead of being “surprised”. It doesn’t make me any less of a loving mother simply because I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. It.
I am a mom who is trying to regain her own identity through my passion, celebrating individuality, for our kids and for ourselves. I just happen to use a camera to do it. It makes me a better mom and wife, and I want to instill these values in my own kids. We all deserve to feel self-worth. To be respected and heard.
Photo courtesy of Shira Z Photography
Photo courtesy of Shira Z Photography
So who am I trying to reach? Me. There are other “me”s out there.
My moms have side projects and passions that they dedicate their time to, in addition to raising their children. Maybe they started their own business, like I did, but money is not a driving a factor for them, the feeling of accomplishing something is.
She might do volunteer work, or run marathons.
She doesn’t sweat the small stuff with her kids. She chooses to nurture over correct, but she knows when to discipline.
She tries to balance her time, but understands that the scales may tip sometimes, and that’s ok as long as it’s meaningful sacrifices that will take her away from her kids.
She works to not lose her entire entity to her kids. She feels the pressure and the guilt, but she does it anyway. She shows her kids that mommy follows her dreams and she wants her kids to do the same.
She has a purpose. My moms stand for something. We become Godzilla versions of ourselves when we have something to fight for.
So my question is, what do you stand for?
xo,
